Cancer stories

Susan’s story

My partner, Peter, was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2015. We found out basically straightaway that it was advanced. So that was a huge shock.

We’re both quite up-front people – we like to know the facts of things. Peter just asked straightaway was it terminal. And the GP just said, “Well yes, I’m afraid it is”.

Peter was very ill. He managed to sit in a chair for about six weeks and basically not move except hobble to bed and hobble to the toilet and hobble back to the chair. And I remember thinking I could look after him, but if he becomes any less mobile then things would need to change.

I’m more than happy to be his carer. I think sometimes trying to be his carer, his partner, his lover, his companion – just swapping between roles can sometimes be a bit tricky. It can be a bit tiring but I’m happy to do it. It’s more an issue of making sure I don’t lose myself and my own life in all of this.

We do try to talk about death. At first, I found that enormously scary. It felt like I was staring down an abyss and I just could barely even go there. I would cry and I would just have this huge wave of emotion, but I don’t feel like that now.

I know it will be enormously sad and I find it very hard to even imagine how I’ll be on my own. Peter’s very reassuring. He says, “You’ll be fine”. And I know I will, even though, of course, I’ll miss him enormously. I will want to come home and tell him about how the funeral was and he won’t be there. So, it’s horribly sad but I like that we can actually talk about it. I find it really helpful.

We’ve talked about things like a cremation and about how he doesn’t want flowers. He would like to die at home. Hopefully he might just slip away nice and peacefully. When I see him struggling, I think maybe it will just be easier for him to just die in his sleep. I think it’s very reassuring for both of us to be able to put that into words.

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To download an EPUB to your Kobo from a Mac:

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Turn on your Kobo and your EPUB will be located in “eBooks”, while a PDF will be located in “Documents”.
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Sony Reader

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  • open the Reader™ Library software and click “Library” in the left-hand pane and select the eBook to view it.

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Amazon Kindle 2nd Generation devices

EPUB files can’t be read on the Amazon Kindle™. However, like most eReaders, Kindle™ 2nd Generation devices are able to display PDFs. We recommend that you download the PDF version of this booklet if you would like to read it on a Kindle™.
To transfer a PDF to your Kindle™ via USB cable from your computer or Mac:

  • download the PDF directly onto your computer.
  • connect the USB cable to your computer’s USB port, and the micro USB end of the cable to your Kindle™. Note: the Kindle™ won’t be available as a reading device while it is connected to your computer until it has been disconnected.
  • open the Kindle™ drive and several folders will appear inside. The “Documents” folder is where you will need to copy or drag the PDF to.
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Kindle also provides a Kindle Personal Documents Service that allows users to send documents as an attachment directly to your eReader. For more information on this service, visit http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html/ref=help_search_1-1?ie=UTF8&nodeId=200767340&qid=1395967989&sr=1-1
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Android and PC

You can also download and open eBooks on Android devices and PCs with appropriate apps or software installed. Suitable eReader apps for Android include Google Play Books, FBReader and Moon+ Reader. Suitable software for PCs include Calibre and Adobe Digital Editions.


This information was last reviewed in January 2020
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