Caring for someone with advanced cancer

This section is about caring for someone who has been told they have advanced cancer. The cancer may have been diagnosed at a late stage or it may have returned after initial treatment.

Most cancers are diagnosed at an earlier stage, so this section may not be relevant to your situation. We hope that this information helps you provide comfort and support to the person you’re caring for.

You may find the information in Caring for someone with cancer useful.

Learn more about:

• When cancer won’t go away
• Avoiding carer burnout
• Discussing prognosis
• Thoughts about euthanasia
• Palliative care
• Support for carers
• Advance care planning
• Legal arrangements
• Caring at the end of life
• Ways to say goodbye
• Anticipatory grief
• When the person you care for dies

When cancer won’t go away

Some people’s cancer may be advanced when they are first diagnosed. For others, the cancer may have spread or come back (recurred) after treatment. Advanced cancer means the cancer is unlikely to be cured, but it can often be managed.

Some people live with advanced cancer as a chronic illness for many years, so there may not be much difference in your caring role immediately. For others, your responsibilities as a carer are likely to increase and may become more complex almost overnight. This may give you little time to adjust to the new situation.

Caring for someone with advanced cancer can feel overwhelming. You may be trying to support the person, while coming to terms with the diagnosis yourself. You may be experiencing a range of strong emotions such as denial, fear, anger, sadness and grief. A diagnosis of advanced cancer also means living with uncertainty about what lies ahead, and this can be challenging.

As well as having to manage your own emotions, you may also have to tell other family members and friends. This can be time-consuming and difficult, and their reactions may add to your distress. Use text messages, email, blogs or social networking sites, or write one letter and send copies to people. If you need support, talk to your GP or the hospital social worker, or call Cancer Council 13 11 20.

For more on this, see Living with advanced cancer, Palliative care, Facing end of life, and listen to our podcast series The Thing About Advanced Cancer.

Palliative Care Australia also has a range of useful resources.

Discussing prognosis

After a diagnosis of advanced cancer, some people want to find out how long they have left to live, while others prefer not to know. It’s a very personal decision.

If the person you are caring for prefers not to know, you may still want some idea of their prognosis to help you plan ahead. You can ask the person if they can give their treatment team permission to speak to you alone.

The health professionals may give you a general idea of the person’s life expectancy. This is known as the prognosis and it is likely to sound a bit vague, such as months to many months, weeks to months, or days to weeks. The actual time could be shorter or longer, because each individual responds differently to treatment.