You may start to think about what the last few days or hours of your life will be like. It’s common to have fears about the process of dying. Many people say they worry about the unknowns of dying more than actually fearing death. Having some idea of what to expect can help some people.
Not being prepared, or imagining what might happen, can be distressing for you and for your family and friends too. If you have been with someone when they died, the experience may influence how you feel about dying. It may have left you feeling reassured, thoughtful, sad, angry or scared. You may have been disturbed by some of the physical changes that happened to the person. Perhaps it appeared that they were having trouble breathing, or they seemed to be in pain or uncomfortable.
Talk about what you can expect
When you feel ready, it may help to talk to a doctor or palliative care specialists. They can explain the
physical process of dying and reassure you that you will be cared for. You may not be aware of physical changes if you are sleepy (drowsy) or unconscious.
Make a plan with your health care or palliative care team
Ask what support they will provide for symptoms, and discuss it with your family, for reassurance and support. You may also have specific concerns and your team can talk with you about what options there are and prepare a plan. Knowing you have a plan may help to put your mind at ease.
Control pain and distress
Today there are many ways for pain to be controlled and managed quite well. If you have symptoms of pain or distress, you or your family can ask your doctor for help.
Learn about the physical process of dying in more detail.
When patients ask me about the dying process, I describe it as the physical and emotional experience of gradually becoming weaker and letting go of their attachment to living.
Nurse
→ READ MORE: How will I know the end is near?
Podcast: Living with Dying
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Fiona Wiseman, Senior Social Worker, Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre, VIC; Grace Berwald, Consumer; Peta Brydon, Metastatic McGrath Breast Care Clinical Nurse Consultant, The Kinghorn Cancer Centre, NSW; Kate Bunyan, Social Worker, Psychosocial Lead, Cancer and Palliative Supportive Care, Canberra Region Cancer Centre, ACT; Hayden Christie, Medical Oncologist and Clinical Director Cancer Care Service and Clinical Lead of the VAD Service for Wide Bay Hospital and Health Service, QLD; John Clements, Consumer; Claire Davies, Spiritual Care Practitioner, Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre, VIC; Joanne Dean, Nurse Practitioner, PEACE Team, Clare Holland House, ACT; A/Prof Michael Franco, Medical Oncologist and Palliative Medicine Physician, Deputy Head – Monash Medical School, Monash University, VIC; Dr Sally Greenaway, WSLHD Director of Supportive and Palliative Care, Senior Staff Specialist Clinical Haematology and Clinical Ethics Service, NSW; Maree Grier, Clinical Psychologist, Royal Brisbane and Women’s Hospital, QLD; Dr Catherine Joyce, National Manager, Advance Care Planning Australia; Mattesse Kitchin, Consumer; Penny Neller, Project Manager, End of Life Law for Clinicians, Australian Centre for Health Law Research, Queensland University of Technology, QLD; Caitriona Nienaber 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council WA; Palliative Care Australia; A/Prof Joel Rhee, Head of Discipline of General Practice, School of Clinical Medicine, University of New South Wales, NSW.
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