What is dying going to be like?

You may start to think about what the last few days or hours of your life will be like. It’s common to have fears about the process of dying. But many people say they worry about the unknowns of dying more than actually fearing death. Having some idea of what to expect can help some people. Not being prepared, or imagining what might happen, can be distressing for you and for your family and friends too.

If you have been with someone when they died, the experience will influence how you feel about dying. It may have left you reassured, thoughtful, sad, angry or scared. You may have been disturbed by some of the physical changes that happened to the person. Perhaps it appeared that they were having trouble breathing, or they seemed to be in pain or uncomfortable.

Talk about what you can expect

When you feel ready, it may help to talk to a doctor or palliative care staff. They can explain the physical process of dying and reassure you that you will be cared for. You may not be aware of physical changes if you are drowsy or unconscious.

Make a plan with your health care or palliative care team

Ask what support they will provide for symptoms, and discuss it with your family, for reassurance and support. You may also have specific concerns. For example, if they know you are worried about pain, they can talk to you about what options there are and prepare a pain management plan. Knowing you will have relief may help to put your mind at ease.

Control pain and distress

Modern health care means that pain can usually be well controlled. If you have symptoms of pain or distress, you or your family can ask your doctor for help. Learn about the physical process of dying in more detail.

When patients ask me about the dying process, I describe it as the physical and emotional experience of gradually becoming weaker and letting go of their attachment to living.

Nurse

Podcast: Living with Dying

Listen to more episodes of our podcast for people affected by cancer