Everyone responds differently to the treatment phase. Anger, crying and withdrawal are some of the possible reactions in children. These can be protective responses that allow a child or young person time to deal with the information.
Learn more about:
Overview
Some children may hide their feelings because they do not want to add to their parents’ stress.
Even if your child’s behaviour doesn’t suggest they are struggling, let them know you appreciate
how hard this situation is for them.
Children will express their emotions differently depending on their age and nature. If your kids’ reactions seem unusual, out of character or intense, consider getting some professional support.
Ways to manage emotions
Ways to help them to understand and manage these emotions, include:
- Encourage kids to identify and name feelings. For younger children, you may need to do this for them (e.g. “You seem like you might be angry” or “You seem really worried”).
- Reassure them that there are no right or wrong feelings.
- Let them know that anger, guilt and sadness are normal feelings. You feel them too and it is okay to talk about them.
- Discuss ways to manage anxiety and stress.
- Make sure they have plenty of opportunities for physical activity and spending time with friends.
- Provide plenty of physical comfort, such as hugs.
- Offer creative ways for children to express their emotions.
- Create lots of opportunities for humour and fun. Let your children know that it is all right to joke and enjoy themselves. Laughter can often relieve tension and help everyone relax.
Changed behaviour
“My husband, Bruce, had a brain tumour and his personality changed because of it. At the dinner table one night, our 4-year-old, Emma, announced, ‘I wish Daddy was dead.’ I calmly asked Emma what she meant. She replied, ‘I don’t like the man who’s in my Daddy’s body. I want my real Daddy back.’ I could then explain why Bruce’s behaviour had changed.”
DEBRA, MOTHER OF A 4-YEAR-OLD
The emotions thermometer
The physical and emotional health of a person with cancer will vary during and after treatment. It can sometimes be hard to let your family know how you’re feeling, and they might find it hard to ask.
An emotions thermometer may help. This simple tool allows you to show how you’re feeling every day. You can make one yourself and ask the kids to help, or there are many versions available online.
Choose which feelings to include and add a pointer that moves to the different feelings.
→ READ MORE: Encouraging family time
Podcast: Explaining Cancer to Kids
Listen to more episodes from our podcast for people affected by cancer
Video: Coping with emotions after a cancer diagnosis
More resources
Joanna Fardell, Senior Research Fellow and Deputy Director, The Behavioural Sciences Unit, School of Clinical Medicine, UNSW Medicine, UNSW, NSW; Dr Diana Adams, Medical Oncologist, Macarthur Cancer Therapy Centre and GenesisCare Campbelltown, NSW; Emma Bowne, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council SA; Ken Colbert, Consumer; Cara Dahl, Team Leader – Online Support, Cancer Hub, and ACA Registered Counsellor, NSW; Elizabeth Egan, Clinical Nurse Consultant – Oncology, St John of God Subiaco Hospital, WA; Dr Maria Ftanou, Director, Psychosocial Oncology Program, Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre, VIC; Nat Fuss, Senior Clinician, Canteen, SA; Helena Hobson, Senior Social Worker, Cancer Centre, Fiona Stanley Hospital and South Metropolitan Health Service, WA; Nadine Macbeth, Social Work Team Leader, Cancer and Chronic Care, Westmead Hospital, NSW; Damian Ragusa, General Manager – Services and Programs, Camp Quality; The Team at Redkite; Alexandra Wright, Consumer.
We would also like to thank the health professionals, consumers, organisations and editorial teams who have worked on previous editions of this title, and we are grateful to the parents and young people whose real-life stories have added to the richness and relevance of this booklet.
We also thank and acknowledge Dr Paula K Rauch, American Cancer Society, Macmillan Cancer Support, Jessica Watt and Diane McGeachy for permission to use their work as source material.
View the Cancer Council NSW editorial policy.
