For many people, the end of active treatment is a time of relief and celebration, but it can also be a time of mixed emotions. Children and teenagers may expect life to return to normal straightaway, but the person who has had treatment may be re-evaluating their priorities. Your family might need to find a “new normal”.
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What do children need to know?
It may help children and young people to know that cancer can be a life-changing experience for many people. Once treatment has finished, some people want life to return to normal as soon as possible, while others feel they need to re-evaluate their life.
This process is often called finding a new normal, and it may take months or years.
The person who has completed cancer treatment may:
| Make changes | They may make life changes such as choosing a new career, starting a new exercise program, reassessing relationships or improving their eating habits. |
| Continue to feel the physical impact | The person who has completed cancer treatment may continue to feel the physical impact of cancer and its treatment. For example, fatigue is a problem for most cancer survivors. |
| Worry about recurrence | People may also worry about the cancer coming back. |
For more on this, call Cancer Council 13 11 20, or see Living well after cancer.
How children react
Like many adults, children may find it hard to understand why things simply can’t go back to the way they were before the cancer. They’ve had to deal with changes while their parent or other family member was sick, and now they probably want to get back to normal.
Your kids may:
| Expect the person who had cancer to bounce back | Often children don’t understand that fatigue can continue after cancer treatment is over. This can lead to disappointment and frustration. |
| Become clingy | Separation anxiety that started during treatment may continue well after treatment is over. |
| Worry the cancer will return | The cancer returning is often a big fear for children and young people, just as it is for the person who had cancer. You can reassure children that regular check-ups will help monitor for cancer. |
| Carry on as if the cancer never happened | Some children may move on in life as if the cancer never happened. |
Important days
“Throughout my son Leo’s treatment, it was so hard to plan. We just had to say, ‘Let’s see what tomorrow brings.’ Two years of that. You think it’s never going to end.
It was such a joyful day when the treatment finally finished. I had never allowed myself to look that far ahead. Leo had a ‘no more chemo’ party at school. Leukaemia treatment is so socially isolating, and it was just wonderful to see people embrace the family and to see Leo so engaged with school and friends.
Now that treatment is over, every day matters. It may not be a good day, but all days are important. We’ve all learnt not to write off time – you don’t put things off. It’s a good life lesson.
I’m really proud of all 4 of my children. Despite all the hardship, there has been a lot of growth for them. They are more resilient and have developed strength and compassion. Leo’s siblings pulled him through, and we all pulled through together as a family.”
GENEVIEVE, MOTHER OF FOUR CHILDREN AGED 3, 5, 10 AND 14
→ READ MORE: Family life after treatment
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Joanna Fardell, Senior Research Fellow and Deputy Director, The Behavioural Sciences Unit, School of Clinical Medicine, UNSW Medicine, UNSW, NSW; Dr Diana Adams, Medical Oncologist, Macarthur Cancer Therapy Centre and GenesisCare Campbelltown, NSW; Emma Bowne, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council SA; Ken Colbert, Consumer; Cara Dahl, Team Leader – Online Support, Cancer Hub, and ACA Registered Counsellor, NSW; Elizabeth Egan, Clinical Nurse Consultant – Oncology, St John of God Subiaco Hospital, WA; Dr Maria Ftanou, Director, Psychosocial Oncology Program, Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre, VIC; Nat Fuss, Senior Clinician, Canteen, SA; Helena Hobson, Senior Social Worker, Cancer Centre, Fiona Stanley Hospital and South Metropolitan Health Service, WA; Nadine Macbeth, Social Work Team Leader, Cancer and Chronic Care, Westmead Hospital, NSW; Damian Ragusa, General Manager – Services and Programs, Camp Quality; The Team at Redkite; Alexandra Wright, Consumer.
We would also like to thank the health professionals, consumers, organisations and editorial teams who have worked on previous editions of this title, and we are grateful to the parents and young people whose real-life stories have added to the richness and relevance of this booklet.
We also thank and acknowledge Dr Paula K Rauch, American Cancer Society, Macmillan Cancer Support, Jessica Watt and Diane McGeachy for permission to use their work as source material.
View the Cancer Council NSW editorial policy.
