Below we talk about the different reactions kids can have when they learn that someone close to them has been diagnosed with cancer and ways you can manage these reactions.
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Ways to cope with kids’ reactions
It’s normal for children to have lots of different reactions to a cancer diagnosis. Talking with them about their reactions gives you a chance to discuss ways of managing how they’re feeling. You will likely have several conversations about cancer as your children’s understanding grows.
 | CryingIf your children cry, reassure them that feeling sad is a natural reaction. Holding them will help some children feel secure. |
 | FearFear is a natural response to something unknown. Some children may worry that they’re going to be abandoned if something happens to the sick parent. Ask them what is their biggest worry and reassure them they will always be loved and looked after. |
 | AngerChildren and young people may feel angry about the diagnosis as it means their lives could be disrupted (e.g. they might have to miss a party, help out around the house more, or a planned holiday may have to be cancelled.) |
 | No reactionSometimes, children will appear not to have heard the news or do not react. You may be confused or hurt by this, but a lack of reaction isn’t unusual – often the children are protecting themselves and need some time to process the information. Remind them that they can talk to you or another trusted adult about it anytime. |
Support from Cancer Hub
Cancer Hub is a digital one-stop shop to help families (with children aged up to 25 years) access practical and emotional support.
Call 1800 431 312 or visit cancerhub.org.au to connect with support from Camp Quality, Canteen and Redkite.
Camp Quality
Supports children living with cancer and their families, as well as children who have a parent or carer with cancer. The Camp Quality Kids’Guide to Cancer app is aimed at children aged up to 15 years. Camp Quality also offers free school programs, recreation programs, camps and family experiences, as well as a 5-part web series explaining the cancer journey.
Canteen
Helps young people aged 12–25 who are dealing with their own or a close family member’s cancer. Young people can connect with others through the Canteen Connect app for:
- online through the Canteen Connect app
- get counselling face-to-face, by phone or online
- get specialist, in-hospital treatment
- take part in programs, camps and recreation days.
Redkite
Provides practical, emotional and financial support for families who have a child aged 0–18 years diagnosed with cancer. Many services are delivered online through the myRedkite portal or by Redkite’s team of specialised paediatric oncology social workers.
→ READ MORE: If your child is diagnosed
Podcast: Explaining Cancer to Kids
Listen to more episodes from our podcast for people affected by cancer
More resources
Joanna Fardell, Senior Research Fellow and Deputy Director, The Behavioural Sciences Unit, School of Clinical Medicine, UNSW Medicine, UNSW, NSW; Dr Diana Adams, Medical Oncologist, Macarthur Cancer Therapy Centre and GenesisCare Campbelltown, NSW; Emma Bowne, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council SA; Ken Colbert, Consumer; Cara Dahl, Team Leader – Online Support, Cancer Hub, and ACA Registered Counsellor, NSW; Elizabeth Egan, Clinical Nurse Consultant – Oncology, St John of God Subiaco Hospital, WA; Dr Maria Ftanou, Director, Psychosocial Oncology Program, Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre, VIC; Nat Fuss, Senior Clinician, Canteen, SA; Helena Hobson, Senior Social Worker, Cancer Centre, Fiona Stanley Hospital and South Metropolitan Health Service, WA; Nadine Macbeth, Social Work Team Leader, Cancer and Chronic Care, Westmead Hospital, NSW; Damian Ragusa, General Manager – Services and Programs, Camp Quality; The Team at Redkite; Alexandra Wright, Consumer.
We would also like to thank the health professionals, consumers, organisations and editorial teams who have worked on previous editions of this title, and we are grateful to the parents and young people whose real-life stories have added to the richness and relevance of this booklet.
We also thank and acknowledge Dr Paula K Rauch, American Cancer Society, Macmillan Cancer Support, Jessica Watt and Diane McGeachy for permission to use their work as source material.
View the Cancer Council NSW editorial policy.
