Here are some suggestions of things you shouldn’t say, and things that might be helpful for the person to hear.
What not to say
| “Everything is going to be all right.” |
| “I know exactly how you feel.” |
| “I can imagine how you feel.” |
| “Don’t worry about it.” |
| “How long do you have to live?” |
| “Just relax, don’t get worked up.” |
| “It will all work out in the end.” |
| “You look well.” |
What you could say
| “Do you mind me talking about your cancer and how you are feeling?” |
| “I have been thinking of you. Please get in touch when you’re up to it and if you want to.” |
| “Tell me how things are for you today?” |
| “What would you like me to do for you today?” |
| “Do you want to tell me what’s going on with you and the cancer treatment or should we talk about other things?” |
| “I really want to help you. What can I do?” |
| “I would like to bring dinner over tomorrow. Is 6pm okay for you?” |
More resources
Need to talk?
Call 13 11 20 to talk to a health professional Or email us your questions.
Support services
Coping with cancer?
Speak to a health professional or to someone who has been there, or find a support group or forum
Looking for transport, accommodation or home help?
Practical advice and support during and after treatment
Cancer information
What is cancer?
How cancer starts and spreads
Caring for someone with cancer
Practical tips on balancing the demands of caring, family, work and your own needs