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Talking about advanced cancer
This section is a starting point for talking to your children if someone they love has cancer that has come back or spread. These issues are complex, emotional and personal, so you may find reading about some parts of this section difficult. For more support, reach out to hospital staff or these listed services.
Learn more about:
- Feeling overwhelmed
- What do children need to know?
- How children react
- What words should I use?
- Answering key questions about advanced cancer
- How children understand death
- Maintaining family life

Feeling overwhelmed
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you or a family member has advanced cancer. An important part of supporting children is to ensure that you have support around you too. You may find some of the following suggestions helpful.
- Ask family and friends for help. Let them know what you need – they will probably be relieved that you can give them something to do. Use and app like KiteCrew or Gather My Crew.
- Get practical assistance and information from Cancer Council and other organisations.
- Talk with your GP and consider getting a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist, or speak with a counsellor. Depression and anxiety are common but effective treatments are available.
- Consider using complementary therapies, such as massage, to manage stress. You could also try the relaxation and meditation exercises in our Finding Calm During Cancer podcast.
- Contact Cancer Hub on 1800 431 312 and ask Canteen, Camp Quality or Redkite. Lifeline and Kids Helpline both provide 24-hour phone counselling.
→ READ MORE: What do children need to know?
Podcast: Explaining Cancer to Kids
Listen to more episodes from our podcast for people affected by cancer
More resources
Joanna Fardell, Senior Research Fellow and Deputy Director, The Behavioural Sciences Unit, School of Clinical Medicine, UNSW Medicine, UNSW, NSW; Dr Diana Adams, Medical Oncologist, Macarthur Cancer Therapy Centre and GenesisCare Campbelltown, NSW; Emma Bowne, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council SA; Ken Colbert, Consumer; Cara Dahl, Team Leader – Online Support, Cancer Hub, and ACA Registered Counsellor, NSW; Elizabeth Egan, Clinical Nurse Consultant – Oncology, St John of God Subiaco Hospital, WA; Dr Maria Ftanou, Director, Psychosocial Oncology Program, Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre, VIC; Nat Fuss, Senior Clinician, Canteen, SA; Helena Hobson, Senior Social Worker, Cancer Centre, Fiona Stanley Hospital and South Metropolitan Health Service, WA; Nadine Macbeth, Social Work Team Leader, Cancer and Chronic Care, Westmead Hospital, NSW; Damian Ragusa, General Manager – Services and Programs, Camp Quality; The Team at Redkite; Alexandra Wright, Consumer.
We would also like to thank the health professionals, consumers, organisations and editorial teams who have worked on previous editions of this title, and we are grateful to the parents and young people whose real-life stories have added to the richness and relevance of this booklet.
We also thank and acknowledge Dr Paula K Rauch, American Cancer Society, Macmillan Cancer Support, Jessica Watt and Diane McGeachy for permission to use their work as source material.
View the Cancer Council NSW editorial policy.
View all publications or call 13 11 20 for free printed copies.
