Below we discuss the best ways to involve others to help talk about the cancer diagnosis with children who may be affected.
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Overview
There are several ways to ensure kids hear a consistent message from people who are involved in their lives.
| Tell key adults | Share the diagnosis with other people who talk with your kids (grandparents, friends, teachers, babysitters) and tell them what you plan to say to your children so that you all communicate the same message. |
| Talk to other people who have cancer | Often the best support and ideas come from people who’ve already been there. You’ll realise you’re not alone and you can ask them how they handled things. |
| Ask a professional | It may also be helpful to get some tips from a professional, such as an oncology nurse or social worker, psychologist or other health professionals at the hospital. They are used to a range of reactions and situations, and might have some tips for coping. |
Involving the school or preschool
Many parents wonder if they should tell the school when someone in the family has been diagnosed with cancer. If things are unsettled at home, school can be a place where kids can be themselves with their friends and carry on life as normal.
When the school is aware of the situation at home, staff may be more understanding of behaviour changes and can provide support. In fact, school staff are often the first to notice shifts in a child’s behaviour that may indicate distress. Ask the school to let you know of any changes in behaviour or academic performance. Ideally, a particular staff member, such as the class teacher, student wellbeing coordinator or year adviser, can provide a regular point of contact with you and your children.
However, request that teachers don’t probe – some well-meaning staff members might misinterpret your child’s behaviour and unintentionally make them feel uncomfortable. For example, a teacher may ask if your child is okay when they’re happily sitting on their own.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can also have an impact on academic performance, so the student may be entitled to special provisions. This can be particularly important in the final years of high school. Some
states and territories have schemes to help a student enter tertiary study if they have experienced long-term educational disadvantage because of their or a family member’s cancer diagnosis.
If you feel concerned about your child, ask your child’s teacher or principal whether your child could see the school counsellor. Sometimes other children can be thoughtless in their comments. Talk to your child about how other children are reacting and encourage them to tell you if they have any concerns. You can raise these issues with teachers if needed.
Ask a parent of one of your child’s friends to help you keep track of school notes, excursions, homework and other events. When life is disrupted at home, children may feel doubly hurt if they miss out on
an event or activity at school because a note goes missing.
Sometimes I felt alone when my dad was sick. None of my friends really understood what we were going through at home, or that the problem could go on for so long.
ADELE, AGED 16
Support services for schools
You may want to let the school know about services that provide school visits and information about cancer. For primary school and preschool children, Camp Quality offers a cancer education program, featuring puppets, to help young students learn about cancer in a safe, age-appropriate way. For more details, call 1300 662 267.
Camp Quality’s new web series Bloom is also available online, and suitable for 12–16 year olds, with classroom resources attached.
For older children, Canteen has a cancer awareness program called When Cancer Comes Along. To find out more, contact Canteen on 1800 226 833.
For more ideas about how your child’s school can help, see Cancer in the School Community: A guide for staff members, which explains how school staff can provide support when a student, parent or staff member has cancer.
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Joanna Fardell, Senior Research Fellow and Deputy Director, The Behavioural Sciences Unit, School of Clinical Medicine, UNSW Medicine, UNSW, NSW; Dr Diana Adams, Medical Oncologist, Macarthur Cancer Therapy Centre and GenesisCare Campbelltown, NSW; Emma Bowne, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council SA; Ken Colbert, Consumer; Cara Dahl, Team Leader – Online Support, Cancer Hub, and ACA Registered Counsellor, NSW; Elizabeth Egan, Clinical Nurse Consultant – Oncology, St John of God Subiaco Hospital, WA; Dr Maria Ftanou, Director, Psychosocial Oncology Program, Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre, VIC; Nat Fuss, Senior Clinician, Canteen, SA; Helena Hobson, Senior Social Worker, Cancer Centre, Fiona Stanley Hospital and South Metropolitan Health Service, WA; Nadine Macbeth, Social Work Team Leader, Cancer and Chronic Care, Westmead Hospital, NSW; Damian Ragusa, General Manager – Services and Programs, Camp Quality; The Team at Redkite; Alexandra Wright, Consumer.
We would also like to thank the health professionals, consumers, organisations and editorial teams who have worked on previous editions of this title, and we are grateful to the parents and young people whose real-life stories have added to the richness and relevance of this booklet.
We also thank and acknowledge Dr Paula K Rauch, American Cancer Society, Macmillan Cancer Support, Jessica Watt and Diane McGeachy for permission to use their work as source material.
View the Cancer Council NSW editorial policy.
