Communicating with a new partner

You may be worried about starting a sexual relationship with a new person in the future. It isn’t easy to decide when to tell a potential sexual partner about any changes to your body (such as you’ve had a breast removed, had a breast reconstruction, need assistance having an erection or have a stoma). It’s natural to be worried about their reaction to seeing you naked for the first time.

Likewise, you may feel concerned about explaining any issues with fertility, especially if you had cancer when you were young.

Tips for communicating with a new partner

Take your time and let a new partner know how cancer has changed your body when you feel ready.
It may be easier if you practise what you want to say with someone and think about answers to questions they may ask. Start with small amounts of information and provide further details if they ask.
You might want to show the other person how your body has changed before any sexual activity so that you can both get used to how that makes you feel.
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This information was last reviewed in May 2019. View who reviewed this content.

Helena Green, Clinical Sexologist and Counsellor, inSync for Life, WA; Anita Brown-Major, Occupational Therapist, Thrive Rehab, VIC; Karina Campbell, Consumer; Nicole Kinnane, Nurse Consultant, Gynae-oncology Services, Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre, VIC; Jessica Medd, Senior Clinical Psychologist, Headway Health and Concord Hospital, NSW; Chris Rivett, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council SA; Kath Schubach, Urology Nurse Practitioner, President – Australia and New Zealand Urological Nurses Society (ANZUNS), VIC; Prof Jane Ussher, Chair, Women’s Health Psychology, Translational Health Research Institute (THRI), School of Medicine, Western Sydney University, NSW; Maria Voukelatos, Consumer. We would like to thank the health professionals, consumers and editorial teams who have worked on previous editions of this title.

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