You may be worried about starting a sexual relationship with someone new in the future. It isn’t easy to decide when to tell a potential sexual partner about any changes to your body (such as having a breast removed or breast reconstruction, or if you need assistance with erections or have a stoma). It’s natural to be worried about their reaction to seeing you naked for the first time. Likewise, you may feel concerned about explaining any issues with fertility, especially if you had cancer when you were young.
Tips for communicating with a new partner
- Take your time and, when you feel ready, let a new partner know how cancer has changed your body.
- It may be easier if you practise what you want to say with someone. Think about answers to any questions they may have. Start with small amounts of information and provide further details if they ask.
- Before any sexual activity, you may want to show the other person how your body has changed, so you can both get used to how it makes you feel.
- Listen to our podcast on Sex and Cancer below.
If you’re a young adult
During and after cancer treatment, young people need to continue to develop and mature. This means living as normal a life as possible, which might include going on dates or having a partner. These activities can feel especially challenging if you are dealing with changes to how you look or fertility issues, or if you feel you haven’t had much experience of sex with someone.
As well as talking to your treatment team and possibly seeing a sex therapist, you could get in touch with Canteen. They offer counselling in person or over the phone, via email or direct message (DM). Canteen also runs online forums and camps. Call 1800 835 932.
→ READ MORE: Overcoming specific challenges
Podcast: Sex and Cancer
Listen to more of our podcast for people affected by cancer
More resources
Dr Margaret McGrath, Head of Discipline: Occupational Therapy, Sydney School of Health Sciences, The University of Sydney, NSW; Yvette Adams, Consumer; Dr Kimberley Allison, Out with Cancer study, Western Sydney University, NSW; Andreea Ardeleanu, Mental Health Accredited Social Worker, Cancer Counselling Service, Canberra Health Service, ACT; Kate Barber, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council Victoria; Dr Kerrie Clover, Senior Clinical Psychologist, Psycho-Oncology Service, Calvary Mater Newcastle, NSW; Maree Grier, Senior Clinical Psychologist, Royal Brisbane and Women’s Hospital, QLD; Mark Jenkin, Consumer; Bronwyn Jennings, Gynaecology Oncology Clinical Nurse Consultant, Mater Health, QLD; Dr Rosalie Power, Out with Cancer study, Western Sydney University, NSW; Dr Margaret Redelman OAM, Medical Practitioner and Clinical Psychosexual Therapist, Sydney, NSW; Kerry Santoro, Prostate Cancer Specialist Nurse Consultant, Southern Adelaide Local Health Network, SA; Simone Sheridan, Sexual Health Nurse Consultant, Sexual Health Services – Austin Health, Royal Talbot Rehabilitation Centre, VIC; Prof Jane Ussher, Chair, Women’s Heath Psychology and Chief Investigator, Out with Cancer study, Western Sydney University, NSW; Paula Watt, Clinical Psychologist, WOMEN Centre, WA.
View the Cancer Council NSW editorial policy.
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