Difficulty reaching orgasm

If you’ve had your clitoris or other sensitive areas of the vulva removed, you may have difficulty reaching orgasm. Removal of the uterus, cervix and ovaries can also change how a woman experiences orgasm. Emotional concerns can also affect orgasm.

Initially, you or your partner might feel that the activities listed below are not “real sex”, but it’s possible to experience intimacy and sexual pleasure without penetrative intercourse.

Tips for reaching orgasm

• Use self-stimulation to find out what works for you.
• Try different ways of getting in the mood for intimacy: wear clothes that make you feel sensual, shower or bathe together, or have a weekend away if you can – whatever makes you feel sexy, relaxed and good about each other.
• Use stroking and massage, or guide your partner’s hands or fingers to areas that arouse and excite you.
• Focus on your breathing. Try to tense and relax your vaginal and pelvic floor muscles in time with your breathing during intercourse or while your clitoris is being stroked.
• Think about a past sexual experience or use erotic books, magazines or films.
• Set the mood or atmosphere with soft lighting, candles and soothing music.
• Consider using an electric vibrator, which may give you the extra stimulation you need to reach orgasm faster.
• Explore reaching orgasm without penetration. Try oral sex, masturbation with sex toys or all-over touching.

Listen to our podcast on Sex and Cancer