During and after cancer treatment, some people find that even though they can still have sex, they don’t enjoy it as much. This may be for emotional reasons, such as worrying or self-consciousness, or from a physical cause, such as fatigue, nerve damage or painful intercourse.
As side effects improve, many people start to enjoy sex again. If you had your breast or prostate removed, you may need to explore touch and stimulation to other parts of the body to feel ready for sex.
Tips for increasing your enjoyment of sex
- Consider agreeing to just touching, hugging and kissing. This is a chance to feel close to your partner and relax knowing there’s no expectation of sex.
- Choose a time when you won’t be disturbed, and set a calming peaceful atmosphere.
- Place your partner’s hands and fingers on the areas that arouse and excite you – or touch those areas yourself.
- Change your normal positions to more comfortable ones that increase stimulation.
- If you are having difficulty reaching orgasm, see these tips.
- Try using a personal lubricant with a water base. Avoid warming gels or lubricants with perfumes or flavours added, which may irritate delicate tissue or sensitive areas.
- Accept that you may not reach orgasm every time. Take the pressure off by focusing on giving and receiving pleasure in different ways, not reaching a certain point.
- Learn mindfulness to help you stay in the moment with your partner. Listen to our relaxation and meditation podcast below.
→ READ MORE: Changes to the vagina
Podcast: Find Calm During Cancer
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Dr Margaret McGrath, Head of Discipline: Occupational Therapy, Sydney School of Health Sciences, The University of Sydney, NSW; Yvette Adams, Consumer; Dr Kimberley Allison, Out with Cancer study, Western Sydney University, NSW; Andreea Ardeleanu, Mental Health Accredited Social Worker, Cancer Counselling Service, Canberra Health Service, ACT; Kate Barber, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council Victoria; Dr Kerrie Clover, Senior Clinical Psychologist, Psycho-Oncology Service, Calvary Mater Newcastle, NSW; Maree Grier, Senior Clinical Psychologist, Royal Brisbane and Women’s Hospital, QLD; Mark Jenkin, Consumer; Bronwyn Jennings, Gynaecology Oncology Clinical Nurse Consultant, Mater Health, QLD; Dr Rosalie Power, Out with Cancer study, Western Sydney University, NSW; Dr Margaret Redelman OAM, Medical Practitioner and Clinical Psychosexual Therapist, Sydney, NSW; Kerry Santoro, Prostate Cancer Specialist Nurse Consultant, Southern Adelaide Local Health Network, SA; Simone Sheridan, Sexual Health Nurse Consultant, Sexual Health Services – Austin Health, Royal Talbot Rehabilitation Centre, VIC; Prof Jane Ussher, Chair, Women’s Heath Psychology and Chief Investigator, Out with Cancer study, Western Sydney University, NSW; Paula Watt, Clinical Psychologist, WOMEN Centre, WA.
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