Read personal stories on the impact of cancer on fertility and how couples approach difficult choices amid treatment challenges.
Monica’s story
I was diagnosed at age 29 with oestrogen-receptive breast cancer. My partner and I had been dating for a year and a half and I wanted kids in the next 1–2 years. From day one, the health professionals said we should be thinking about fertility.
The fertility specialist harvested eggs through IVF. We were able to use a drug that didn’t introduce more oestrogen to my body. The timing of the egg harvest worked well with my cycle, so it was only a 2-week delay before I started chemotherapy.
They could only harvest one mature egg so my partner and I had to decide: do we freeze my egg or a combination of the 2 of us in an embryo? We needed to consider what would happen if we didn’t stay together. It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge these difficult questions.
We decided to freeze an embryo, because the success rates of having a live birth from an embryo were slightly better than a frozen egg and we feel like we will be together a long time.
Ben’s story
I was diagnosed with leukaemia when I was 13. I had 6 weeks of chemotherapy followed by a bone marrow transplant. After this, the doctors checked my fertility and told me I was sterile.
Obviously I wasn’t thinking of having kids at that age, but the possibility of not being able to made me pretty upset. It sent me into a bit of a depression spiral.
Now when I talk about my diagnosis and fertility comes up, I still get upset.
It’s patronising as well because a lot of people, even family members, say things like, “Oh you can still adopt.” But to me, it’s not the same.
I’m 20 now and I have a girlfriend. After we’d been going out for 2 years, I asked her if our relationship was to go any further and we couldn’t have kids, would that be an issue? She didn’t seem to have a problem with it.
But I’ve still got it in my mind that if I do find someone and it gets to that time, and I say, “Oh, I can’t have kids,” they’re just going to get up and go.
My brother told me that he was trying for a baby and that made me feel sort of shit, but at the same time I was happy for him.
After my treatment, the doctors said they’d give me more information later, so I’m waiting to hear about my other options. There are other ways of having kids, so I’ve got to wait and see what happens. No point getting worked up about it yet.
My brother told me that he was trying for a baby and that made me feel sort of shit, but at the same time I was happy for him.
Ben
Read more personal stories from women who have been diagnosed with cancer while pregnant
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