When the person you care for dies
There are many services available to help with the practical and legal aspects of the person’s death.
Learn more about these services at Facing End of Life. You can also talk to the social worker on the palliative care team.
After the person dies, you may feel a range of emotions, including:
- numbness and shock, or a sense of disbelief, even if you thought you were prepared
- sadness
- relief that the person is no longer in pain
- shocked that you feel relieved to be free of the burden of caring and can now make plans for your future
- anger towards the doctors or the hospital, your god or the person for dying
- guilt about things you did or didn’t do, about not being there at the time of death, or about how you are feeling.
All these reactions are common. Feeling relief or guilt is not a sign that you didn’t care. These emotions may come and go and change in intensity over time. Support groups (face-to-face, telephone or online) or counselling can help you get through times when your grief seems overwhelming.
For information about grief after a person has died from cancer, see Understanding grief, download the booklet from this page, or call Cancer Council 13 11 20.
– Fiona
Listen to podcasts on Cancer Affects the Carer Too and How to Help Someone with Cancer
Click on the icon below to download a PDF booklet on caring for someone with cancer
Instructions for downloading and reading EPUB files
Apple devices
The iBooks application must be installed on your Apple device before you can read the EPUB.
Different ways to download an EPUB file to your Apple device:
- email EPUB files to yourself and transfer the attachment to iBooks.
- copy EPUB files into DropBox (or a similar service) and use the DropBox app to send them to iBooks.
- open EPUB files directly from Mobile Safari and open them in iBooks, where they are saved automatically by downloading the EPUB from the website.
Need more help? Visit: http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4059
Kobo
To download an EPUB file to your Kobo from a Windows computer:
- download and save the EPUB directly onto your desktop.
- connect your Kobo to your computer using the USB cable and tap “Connect” on your eReader.
- select “Open folder to view files” to view the contents of your Kobo.
- navigate to where you have stored your EPUB file in “Finder”, in documents or downloads, and drag and drop it into the Kobo window. You can now disconnect your Kobo to read the eBook.
To download an EPUB to your Kobo from a Mac:
- download and save the EPUB directly onto your desktop.
- connect your Kobo to your computer using the USB cable and tap “Connect” on your eReader.
- open your “Finder” application.
- select “Kobo eReader” from the listed devices to view the contents of your Kobo.
- navigate to where you have stored your EPUB file in “Finder”, probably in documents or downloads, and drag and drop it into the Kobo window. You can now disconnect your Kobo to read the eBook.
Turn on your Kobo and your EPUB will be located in “eBooks”, while a PDF will be located in “Documents”.
Need more information? Visit: http://www.kobo.com/help/koboaura/response/?id=3784&type=3
Sony Reader
To download an EPUB file on your Sony Reader™:
- ensure you have already installed the Reader™ Library for PC/Mac software
- select the eBook you want from our website and click the link to download it.
- connect the Reader™ to your computer.
- open the Reader™ Library software and click “Library” in the left-hand pane and select the eBook to view it.
Need more help? Visit: https://au.readerstore.sony.com/apps_and_devices/
Amazon Kindle 2nd Generation devices
EPUB files can’t be read on the Amazon Kindle™. However, like most eReaders, Kindle™ 2nd Generation devices are able to display PDFs. We recommend that you download the PDF version of this booklet if you would like to read it on a Kindle™.
To transfer a PDF to your Kindle™ via USB cable from your computer or Mac:
- download the PDF directly onto your computer.
- connect the USB cable to your computer’s USB port, and the micro USB end of the cable to your Kindle™. Note: the Kindle™ won’t be available as a reading device while it is connected to your computer until it has been disconnected.
- open the Kindle™ drive and several folders will appear inside. The “Documents” folder is where you will need to copy or drag the PDF to.
- safely eject your Kindle™ from your computer and unplug the USB cable. Your content will appear on the Home Screen.
Kindle also provides a Kindle Personal Documents Service that allows users to send documents as an attachment directly to your eReader. For more information on this service, visit http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html/ref=help_search_1-1?ie=UTF8&nodeId=200767340&qid=1395967989&sr=1-1
For more information on accessing a PDF on your Kindle™, visit www.amazon.com/manageyourkindle, log in to your account and click on Personal Document Settings.
Need more help? Visit https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=200375630
Android and PC
You can also download and open eBooks on Android devices and PCs with appropriate apps or software installed. Suitable eReader apps for Android include Google Play Books, FBReader and Moon+ Reader. Suitable software for PCs include Calibre and Adobe Digital Editions.
This information was last reviewed in September 2017
Support services
Support for carers
Cancer Council NSW offers carers support online, over the phone and in person and can link you to our practical support services, including support groups for bereaved carers
Need legal and financial assistance?
Pro bono services, financial and legal assistance, and no interest loans
Cancer information
Understanding grief
Information to help you understand more about your grief when someone close to you has died from cancer
Facing end of life
Information about the issues facing people who are dying with cancer
View our publications
Guides and fact sheets for people with cancer, their families and friends
