Stress and worry can make reaching an orgasm more difficult. The brain is one of the major sexual organs and thinking about past positive sexual experiences or fantasies may help. You could also try exploring erotic stories in books, magazines or movies.
If you’ve had sensitive areas removed (such as your clitoris or parts of the vulva), you may have difficulty reaching orgasm. Surgery to remove the uterus, cervix or ovaries can also change how you experience sexual pleasure. See a sex therapist for help with this.
Only 1 in 3 women can have an orgasm with penetration alone. Accept that you may not orgasm every time. Focus on giving and receiving pleasure in ways that feel good, rather than reaching a certain point.
Tips for reaching orgasm
- Use masturbation to find what feels good for you.
- Use stroking and massage or guide your partner’s hands or fingers to areas that arouse you.
- Try tensing and relaxing your vaginal and pelvic floor muscles in time with your breathing.
- Try reaching orgasm in other ways than penetration (e.g. oral sex, masturbation).
- Experiment with different positions, like tensing your thighs, closing or opening your legs or pointing your toes.
- Consider using an electric vibrator for the extra stimulation you need to reach orgasm. You can try clitoral stimulation during penetration by touching yourself, or try a sex toy designed for use during intercourse.
→ READ MORE: Changes to the vagina
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Dr Michael Lowy, Sexual Health Physician, Sydney Men’s Health, NSW; Gregory Bock, Clinical Nurse Consultant – Oncology Coordinator, Urology Cancer Nurse Coordination Service, Cancer Network WA; Anita Brown-Major, Occupational Therapist and Director, Thrive Rehab, VIC; Helena Green, Psychosexual Therapist and Clinical Sexologist, Insync for Life Psychology and Women Centre, WA; Dr Lisa Mackenzie, Clinical Psychologist, HNE Centre for Gynaecological Cancer, Hunter New England Local Health District, NSW; Dr Tonia Mezzini, Sexual Health Physician, East Obstetrics and Gynaecology, SA; Sophie Otto, Prostate Cancer Nurse Consultant – Central Adelaide Local Health Network (CALHN), SA; Giovanna Raco, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council Victoria; Kath Schubach, Urology Nurse Practitioner, VIC; Emily Stevens, Gynaecology Oncology Clinical Nurse Consultant, Southern Adelaide Local Health Network, Flinders Medical Centre, SA; Anja Vukovic, Clinical Specialist Social Worker, Gynaecological Oncology, Westmead Hospital, NSW; Alan White, Consumer; Kathleen Wilkins, Consumer; Merran Williams, Consumer.
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