Learn about the changes in appearance after cancer treatment and learn how to cope with emotional impacts on your self-image.
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Coping with changes to your appearance
If the way your body looks has changed after cancer treatment, you may feel self-conscious.
It’s common to feel a range of emotions about the physical changes caused by treatment, including:
- changes to how your body works
- removal of a body part and use of a prosthesis
- having a stoma
- loss of hair on the head and body
- weight changes
- rashes
- swelling (lymphoedema)
- scars
- increased chest tissue in males.
Effects on self-esteem and sexual confidence
The way you look may affect how you feel about yourself. Changes to your face or body may make you feel less attractive, and this can affect your sexual confidence, self-esteem and body image.
Often, your partner (or someone you like) won’t care about how you look. Even so, you may worry about people’s reactions to you, or that they will avoid or reject you when they see how your body has changed.
Some head or neck cancers can cause changes to how you look, speak, eat or breathe. These changes can be upsetting because they are visible, and may also affect kissing, talking and eating.
It takes time to adjust to changes in appearance. Some changes may improve with time, while others may be permanent. When there are changes to your body image as a result of cancer, remember: you are much more than how your body looks. Be gentle with yourself. You are a person, who deserves love and care, and it’s okay to accept yourself just as you are.
Look Good Feel Better program
This free 2-hour program teaches adults and teens of any gender how to use skin care and hats to feel more confident during and after treatment. Visit Look Good Feel Better to book into a workshop. They can also send you a confidence kit if you can’t attend in person.
Tips for adjusting to appearance changes
- Remember that sexual attraction is a mix of emotional and physical factors, not just how your body looks.
- Wear clothes, make-up or accessories that make you feel good or highlight your favourite features.
- Consider showing your partner any changes to your body before sex and tell them what feels okay. Letting your partner look and gently touch these areas may help both of you feel more comfortable with the changes.
- If you feel shy or worried about part of your body, keep that area covered during sex. If you have had breast surgery, you may choose to wear a camisole. You may also want to avoid positions that show the area.
- If your hair has fallen out, you can wear a scarf, hat or wig, or you may prefer to leave your head uncovered. See Hair Loss or call 13 11 20 for a wig service in your area.
- If your weight has changed, choose clothes that fit you well. Something too tight or too baggy may highlight changes. You may want to buy a new outfit that helps you to feel more confident.
- Try dimming the lights or using candles when you have sex, to help you feel more relaxed about your body.
- Ask your doctor about plastic surgery or a facial prosthesis if surgery or radiation therapy has affected your face. This may help you regain a more natural appearance and improve the way you speak.
- See a counsellor to help you adjust to the changes.
- For some people, it may help to spend time looking at yourself in the mirror. This way you get used to the changes to your body. You can use a handheld mirror to see the genital area. Touch your scars so you learn how they feel now.
My sexual partner has always wanted to have sex with me – this made me feel good about myself after my surgery and when my head was shaved. He didn’t care – he just loved my body anyway.
Daphna
→ READ MORE: Removal of a body part
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Dr Michael Lowy, Sexual Health Physician, Sydney Men’s Health, NSW; Gregory Bock, Clinical Nurse Consultant – Oncology Coordinator, Urology Cancer Nurse Coordination Service, Cancer Network WA; Anita Brown-Major, Occupational Therapist and Director, Thrive Rehab, VIC; Helena Green, Psychosexual Therapist and Clinical Sexologist, Insync for Life Psychology and Women Centre, WA; Dr Lisa Mackenzie, Clinical Psychologist, HNE Centre for Gynaecological Cancer, Hunter New England Local Health District, NSW; Dr Tonia Mezzini, Sexual Health Physician, East Obstetrics and Gynaecology, SA; Sophie Otto, Prostate Cancer Nurse Consultant – Central Adelaide Local Health Network (CALHN), SA; Giovanna Raco, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council Victoria; Kath Schubach, Urology Nurse Practitioner, VIC; Emily Stevens, Gynaecology Oncology Clinical Nurse Consultant, Southern Adelaide Local Health Network, Flinders Medical Centre, SA; Anja Vukovic, Clinical Specialist Social Worker, Gynaecological Oncology, Westmead Hospital, NSW; Alan White, Consumer; Kathleen Wilkins, Consumer; Merran Williams, Consumer.
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