You may be worried about starting a sexual relationship with someone new in the future. It isn’t easy to decide when to tell a potential sexual partner about any changes to your body (such as having a breast removed or breast reconstruction, or if you need assistance with erections or have a stoma).
It’s natural to be worried about their reaction to seeing you naked for the first time. Likewise, you may feel concerned about explaining any issues with fertility, especially if you had cancer when you were young.
Tips for communicating with a new partner
- Take your time and, when you feel ready, let a new partner know how cancer has changed your body.
- It may be easier if you practise what you want to say with someone. Think about answers to any questions they may have. Start with small amounts of information and provide further details if they ask.
- Before any sexual activity, you may want to show the other person how your body has changed, so you can both get used to how it makes you feel.
- Listen to our podcast on Sex and Cancer below.
If you’re a young adult
During and after cancer treatment, young people need to continue to develop and mature. This means living as normal a life as possible, which might include going on dates or having a partner. These activities can feel especially challenging if you are dealing with changes to how you look or fertility issues, or if you feel you haven’t had much experience of sex with someone.
As well as talking to your treatment team and possibly seeing a sex therapist, you could get in touch with Canteen. They offer counselling in person or over the phone, via email or direct message (DM). Canteen also runs online forums and camps. Call 1800 835 932.
→ READ MORE: Overcoming specific challenges
Podcast: Sex and Cancer
Listen to more of our podcast for people affected by cancer
More resources
Dr Michael Lowy, Sexual Health Physician, Sydney Men’s Health, NSW; Gregory Bock, Clinical Nurse Consultant – Oncology Coordinator, Urology Cancer Nurse Coordination Service, Cancer Network WA; Anita Brown-Major, Occupational Therapist and Director, Thrive Rehab, VIC; Helena Green, Psychosexual Therapist and Clinical Sexologist, Insync for Life Psychology and Women Centre, WA; Dr Lisa Mackenzie, Clinical Psychologist, HNE Centre for Gynaecological Cancer, Hunter New England Local Health District, NSW; Dr Tonia Mezzini, Sexual Health Physician, East Obstetrics and Gynaecology, SA; Sophie Otto, Prostate Cancer Nurse Consultant – Central Adelaide Local Health Network (CALHN), SA; Giovanna Raco, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council Victoria; Kath Schubach, Urology Nurse Practitioner, VIC; Emily Stevens, Gynaecology Oncology Clinical Nurse Consultant, Southern Adelaide Local Health Network, Flinders Medical Centre, SA; Anja Vukovic, Clinical Specialist Social Worker, Gynaecological Oncology, Westmead Hospital, NSW; Alan White, Consumer; Kathleen Wilkins, Consumer; Merran Williams, Consumer.
View the Cancer Council NSW editorial policy.
