Triggers for your grief

Many people talk about the first year – all the “firsts” without your loved one – as being especially difficult. As all of these events pass, most people learn to cope a little more. With time, they find it does get easier, although milestones and anniversaries might always trigger some sadness and worry.

You may continue to feel a deep sense of loss for the experiences that the person didn’t get to have and that you didn’t get to share. Some people find comfort in visiting the burial site or another significant location, or in gathering with family in remembrance of their loved one.

Other losses could trigger your grief again. This might happen when someone else you know dies or when a pet dies, when a relationship ends, or when you lose a job or special possessions. Sometimes you may forget that the person has died, and when you suddenly remember, you may be shocked all over again.

You might find there is a time of day when you miss the person most. Or it might be a song, a smell, an anniversary or doing something you used to do together that reminds you of them, and you may feel upset again. The experience of grief section includes ideas on how to help yourself through these times.