The ‘up and down’ nature of grief
People sometimes speak of ‘stages’ of grief. This doesn’t mean that grief is something you begin one day, move through step by step, and emerge unchanged from at the other end. Rather, the stages reflect a range of emotions that you may move between.
− Anne
For most people, grief involves ups and downs, moving between the traditional idea of grieving (crying, missing the person, feeling pain) and what they might describe as moving forward (returning to activities, learning new skills, forming new relationships). This can feel chaotic, but both the ups and downs are part of grief.
Most people find they gradually learn to cope better with their loss, but don’t despair if it seems like two steps forward and one step back, with feelings of intense grief again and again – this is common. The experience is often described as like being on a roller-coaster, but it can also be thought of as a series of cycles.
This information was last reviewed in April 2017
Support services
Caring for someone with cancer
Speak to a health professional or to someone who has been there, or find a support group or forum
Cancer Council Online Community
A community forum – a safe place to share stories, get tips and connect with people who understand
Cancer information
Emotions and cancer
People who are affected by cancer in some way can experience a range of emotions, that can be very challenging to deal with at times. Learn more.
End of life
This information may help you better cope with end of life, or support someone who may be dying with cancer
